I’ve had the night to think more on the celeb-fest that was the Met Gala earlier this week, but it hasn’t changed my mind. I’ve done the good bit; time now for the bad and downright ugly. OMG girls! Are you that desperate to be noticed?
Let’s start with Katie Holmes. Now I don’t think it was THAT terrible. The Calvin Klein gown may have worked in another colour, but in white? She looked like she was wearing loo roll. Were all the pieces of useless material just lying on the floor her nod to this year’s theme of the fashion exhibit – Punk: Chaos to Couture? Pathetic! After she finally escaped from the clutches of creepy Tom Cruise, I so wanted her to be in something shocking and far removed from this ‘mumsey’ zone she’s been stagnating in for the past few years. If she’d gone for something short – because I have a theory she has a pair of outstanding legs hidden away – she’d have caught the attention of all the world’s fashion writers. It didn’t even have to be short.
If only she’d had Kristen Stewart’s stylist and turned up in that blood red jumpsuit by Stella McCartney, she’d have been on my favourites list. Oh, well.
Now on to the ugly. Someone who took the punk theme way too far was Miley Cyrus. Now I’m 110% in favour of her peroxide short crop, but was her hairstylist on some sort of hallucinogenic drug? I recoiled in horror when I saw this total disaster. Alone, the Marc Jacobs dress was gorgeous, with its transparent shimmery fishnet over a nude slip. It ticked all the boxes and I loved it. But…. OH MY GOD, MILEY! The HAIR! Oh, that you’d given Ronnie a call, you’d have been the belle of the ball. Why turn Miley into a poor man’s Billy Idol? Her make-up was lovely but you just can’t escape that hair. It was just so Eueugh!!!
Finally, the only person who could possibly beat MileyCyrus was Kim Kardashian. I can’t describe it. It was a monstrosity. The flowery disaster was just that, a disaster. Apparently, the dress by Riccardo Tisci originally had no sleeves and a high neck – sounds all right – in the lead up to the gala, but after the socialite gained weight due to her pregnancy, she added arms – verging on disaster – and gloves of the same print – OMG! All she needed was a tea cosy on her head and you’d have thought she was one of the nutcases auditioning for Britain’s Got Talent. She really needs a new stylist. Think she could have worn the purple lace gown with long sleeves that Minka Kelly looked a dream in, and accentuated all those amazing curves and baby bump. But, sadly, no.
A few others fall into my ‘bad’ books. Sarah Jessica Parker looked like she had raided the Met’s Trojan and Greek exhibits. Thigh high heels? No! The massive, overbearing dress? No! And that hat? Well, now you understand.
Cameron Diaz looked almost like a smurf. It was boring and she looked far too old in it.
And, finally, Nicole Richie in the white, grey and totally incomprehensible hair. The dress was beautiful but the hair? The theme was punk, not little old lady. It totally ruined the outfit and instead she looked like one of those weird troll toy things. Well, I guess it got her noticed.